Prayer from September 15, 2007

Abba,

I feel like I'm in the calm before the storm.
Strange and disconnected.
Jesus, something is building within me--I am reminded of Psalm 77.

Sometimes I want to turn myself inside out and scrub--just clean.
That is not for me.

Jesus, reveal any sin to me
("then I will hear from heaven, and forgive their sin, and heal their land")
and may your grace and forgiveness downpour on my soul.

I will still praise you.
For your glory shall reign over all the earth.
You have freed me from my chains of bondage to sin and death.
Hallelujah, my God is near.

Majestic you are
giving flight to the birds
and love to the lonely.

Your rescue is perfect, and your righteousness is unending.
How can I go a day without your mercy?
My heart is dear to you.

Jesus, you have made everything with design: a beginning, a middle, and an end.
I will find you there.

Break down those walls I keep running into.
May my will, purpose, and life be directed by you.
Great is your faithfulness, even unto me!

I still see my doubt* there, but I will look to you in my distress.
You have the power to heal and forgive.
Forgive me for my worry and stress.

"Meaningless," says the Teacher. "Everything is meaningless!"


I love you, Lord.
amen.




*For many years as a teenager, I doubted God, my faith, Jesus, the Bible, myself. This prayer is the ramblings of my heart riddled with uncertainty. Now, I am thankful for those years of doubt--God used it to strengthen me. This is what I mean when I say that my faith has content.